I've Got Your Folk Songs Right Here

by Joy Damiani

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Do you know someone who's a dick? Well you better get yourself a high-quality, vinyl 4"x4" Try Not To Be A Dick Sticker, so you can wave it around in their face! Or better yet, stick it somewhere very, very public. Make sure you post a picture of where you stick your sticker with #trynottobeadick for maximum impact!

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Full Digital Discography

8

releases

Get all 8 Joy Damiani releases available on Bandcamp and save 15%.

Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The System Isn't Broken, Brains In Meat Suits, It's All Right To Not Be Okay, Notes To Self And Others, Happy Ever After, Please Don't F With Me (This Xmas), Folk In Your Face, and I've Got Your Folk Songs Right Here. , and , .

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Debut Album!
Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

12 songs, most of which are not safe for work.

Includes unlimited streaming of I've Got Your Folk Songs Right Here via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.	Try Not To Be A Dick 04:34	lyrics	buy track
In twenty-odd years of living I have had the chance To learn some of life’s lessons Like, When you go outside? Wear pants. I’ve given quite a bit of thought / To our statutes and laws But there’s one simple principle / That supersedes ‘em all … Try not to be a dick Cover your mouth when you sneeze so others don’t get sick Stay out of the fast lane if you are drivin’ slow It won’t always be easy ’cause other drivers suck, I know, just Try not to be a dick When you stand on the escalator / Please step to the right So if I need to pass you / We won’t have to fight The concept’s pretty simple / A child could comprehend That you should turn your blinker on / Before you ’round the bend CHORUS (Occupy Verse): When you’re peacefully assembling / In a public place And the cops come to disperse you / With their tear gas and their mace The urge to fight against them / Will be quite strong But instead of violence just / Sing them this song, say CHORUS So if you’re one of those people / As all of us can be Kindly take a minute / Lend your ear to me You don’t have to be perfect / Neither do I All that we can really do is / Give it a try, and CHORUS Try not to be a dick (repeat ad nauseum)
2.	In A Major Key 02:54	lyrics	buy track
I have got a lot to say About the world I occupy every day But when I speak what’s on my mind I find I piss people off So I looked back to a time before / When people spoke out even more And I found one commonality / Y’see, they said it in a major key Bridge: A minor key won’t work If you wanna tell folks that they’re jerks You want your audience to agree You gotta sing it in a major key It worked for Bob and Joan and Pete / When they raged against the world’s elite They used their tunes so clear and bright / To fight against the machine And the people lapped up every word / They sang along like little birds Cuz how can anyone be wrong / If their song is in a major key Bridge A minor key won’t do If you want to share your point of view You want the people to hear your stance A major key’ll be your only chance And now I see it very clear / How to talk to people so they can hear I’ll use Do Re Mi So Fa and Ti / And they’ll see exactly what I mean And my message might not be profound / But all that matters is the sound I can say any goddamn thing I please / If I sing it in a major key
3.	Plant Some Weed 03:46	lyrics	buy track
I like to tiptoe through the tulips I’ve watched them grow up tall and fine from tiny little seeds But tiptoeing through tulips won’t pay my bills So next year, I’d better plant some weed I guess I could go work at McDonald’s Or take tickets at the movies and spend my days popping corn But if I grow those lovely buds of marijuana Well that, my friend, pays better these days than porn Oh Mister Obama, it’s not that I wanna It’s just that I’m driven to succeed I’ve gotta stretch my dollar In this failing economy The best way I can see is planting weed I’m not saying that there’s no other option It’s just that all the rest of them don’t have the same returns So I’ll spend the summer tending to my crop, son By next harvest, I’ll have money left to burn
4.	Good Old Passive Aggressive 02:08	lyrics	buy track
I used to have a lot of rage Now I keep it in a cage I’m just a nice-mannered, soft-spoken Good old passive-aggressive I used to yell and act real mean Now my anger’s all unseen I’m just a sweet, charming, so disarming Good old passive-aggressive I used to give a lot of lip Now my mouth stays tightly zipped I’m just an unimpassioned, no-reaction-having Good old passive-aggressive I used to shout and shake my fists BREATHE Now I just dig my nails into my wrists I’m just a frustrated, irritated, never let ya hear me say it Good old passive-aggressive But one day soon, you ought to know This steaming top is gonna blow … And I’ll go back to being the same old me again A good old aggressive-aggressive A good old aggressive-aggressive
5.	A Northern California Love Song 02:53	lyrics	buy track
Oh, oh, you came out of nowhere like a Berkeley pedestrian You stole my heart just like a San Francisco crackhead stole my bike You drive me crazy like those West Marin hippies But you’re the kind of Northern Californian that I like When I met you I moved straight out from the East Coast to the Bay Where people can express themselves in just any old way We traveled all around this state meeting folks of every kind But out of all those weirdos, you’re the one who’s on my mind You’re not a grower up in Humboldt or a stoner from Santa Cruz You don’t have a house in Tahoe where the lake is oh so blue You’re not a dreamy painter on the Mendocino coast But that’s okay ‘cause baby it’s still you I love the most CHORUS Well you’ve never been to Burning Man, you don’t make your own wine You don’t call women goddesses but you still treat us fine You don’t run a non-profit and you’re not an activist But even so it’s you who’s at the top of my list CHORUS You’re the kind of Northern Californian that I like *First line originally uttered by Carolyn Lang
6.	Shut Yer Face 02:15	lyrics	buy track
I’ve seen you in a hundred different bodies It seems as though you’re everywhere I go Your voice is always loud Your tone is always proud But why that is, I simply do not know Chorus: You just go “blah blah blah” No matter what the topic You go “blah blah blah” ‘Cuz you’re the smartest one you see You just go “blah blah blah” And nobody can stop it I’m sure you have a lot to say Please don’t say it to me You’ve read a book about this very subject The details, though, you just cannot recall But that’s not stopping you You have opinions too And you won’t rest until I’ve heard them all CHORUS Dear friend, if you would like to end my suff’ring Get yourself a little bit of social grace Just think before you speak The same will go for me Please don’t make me have to shut yer face CHORUS
7.	I Don't Want To Have A Baby 01:23	lyrics	buy track
I don’t want to have a baby ‘Cause babies drain yer money And I’m pretty poor now as it is But I like having sex And I don’t want to be on birth control I guess I better swallow his jizz I don’t want to have a baby ‘Cause babies make you fat And I”m happy with the size of my waist But I like having sex And I don’t want to use a rubber So I guess I better get used to that taste I don’t care if they’re cute I don’t care if they are necessary for the human race to continue I don’t want to have a baby ‘Cause babies keep you up at night And I would rather stay in bed But I like having sex And I don’t want to get my tubes tied So I guess I better stick to strictly head I don’t care if they’re cute I don’t care if they are necessary for the human race to continue I don’t want to have a baby So please stop asking Thanks.
8.	(No Such Thing As) Bad Words 03:30	lyrics	buy track
Well there’s no such thing as a bad word The syllables alone can do no harm It’s just the actions behind ‘em and the feelings that inspire them That should ever cause you alarm In every single language there are words that are taboo Everybody knows which ones they are And you get a lot of trouble if you bring ‘em out in public But don’t worry you can use ‘em in your car CHORUS When you go to church you can’t say Praise the Fucking Lord The people there would kick you out the door But those same folks just might tell you that you’re going straight to hell And that my friends is what offends me more CHORUS There are people who use euphemisms or abbreviate They say Eff and Shh and C-Word and that makes it all okay They somehow think it’s better when they remove a couple letters But we know what they really mean to say BRIDGE: They mean Fuck, Shit, Cunt, they mean Motherfucker And there’s nothin’ wrong with that I’m here to say Just say Fuck, Shit, Cunt, just say Motherfucker You’re sayin’ it in your head anyway … CHORUS / BRIDGE / CHORUS
9.	In Your Mind 02:30	lyrics	buy track
You’re the star of the show In your mind For you, anything goes In your mind You’re the best and the brightest Your teeth are the whitest Except that it’s all in your mind Ever since you were a baby You’ve been told just what makes you feel aglow But you must be drinkin’ If you’re really thinkin’ That that’s how reality goes CHORUS: Because you honestly think That yer shit doesn’t stink And although it might be unkind I can tell you right now Without any doubt That it’s all, yes it’s all, in your mind Your friends, they all tell you that they love you Your enemies tell you the same But it doesn’t matter You love to be flattered Delusion’s the name of your game CHORUS It’s all, yes it’s all, in your mind
10.	Just Because You Can 02:39	lyrics	buy track
Just because you can eat 50 hotdogs in an hour That doesn’t mean, doesn’t mean that you should Just because you can climb naked up a water tower That doesn’t mean it’ll do any good CHORUS: Just because you can doesn’t mean that you should And I’ll keep repeating it until it’s understood Just because you can, man, it doesn’t mean you should Just because you can drive a hundred miles an hour That doesn’t mean, doesn’t mean that you should Just because you can make weaker people cower That doesn’t mean it’ll do any good CHORUS Just because you can make people believe lies That doesn’t mean, doesn’t mean that you should Just because you can pull the wool over their eyes That doesn’t mean it’ll do any good Just because you can treat your fellow man like shit That doesn’t mean, doesn’t mean that you should Just because you manage to get away with it That doesn’t mean it’ll do any good
11.	Foreign Policy Folk Song 03:53	lyrics	buy track
So you’re our brave new leader You’re gonna run our country But before you get started There’s something you should know We’ve built a reputation to take over every nation And if they try to stop us, we’ll bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb their country CHORUS: Just bomb their country Just bomb their fucking country Kill all of their children and destroy their infrastructure Just bomb their country, put holes in all their history Then take all of their resources and bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb their country Now you might think this tactic / is a little bit misguided And that your loyal citizens / will certainly deride it But just say it’s liberation / It’s for their own protection And while they’re all protestin’ / We will bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb those countries CHORUS Now don’t you ever worry / about no double standard Nobody at home will care / Just where our troops have landed And if anybody notices / We’ve never been invaded Just go ahead and say it’s ‘cause we bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb all those countries CHORUS And if anybody questions / All these actions that you take Remind them that their freedom / Is certainly at stake There is no other option / For peace and harmony To make the world more safe / We have to bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb some countries CHORUS Just throw them all in prison and then bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb their country
12.	On Religion 02:44	lyrics	buy track
The sun up in the sky, y’know Revolves around the earth And Jesus was the son of God Right from his virgin birth That landing on the moon was nothing but a ruse And Santa visits every kid Except, of course, the Jews CHORUS: At every stage of the human age One thing has become crystal clear Reality can prove itself time and time again But people will believe only what they want to hear Columbus was the first one to set foot in the New World And Samson really lost his strength when Delilah cut his curls There really was a Robin Hood who paid the poor their dues And all the money in the world is controlled by Jews CHORUS BRIDGE: So what do you believe, my friend Just tell me what you know When this world finally ends, who will be the first to go Who will burn in hell, and who will live forever Is it up to God or just depending on the weather Nobody can know, not even me or you Except the Mormons, Muslims, Christians / And let’s not forget the Jews. CHORUS

about

This is Joy Damiani's debut album (originally released under the name Emily Yates). It is sold out in physical form but you can still own it digitally, yay!

credits

released June 14, 2012

Produced by E. Yates & Charlie Wilson at Sonic Zen Records in Berkeley CA

All songs copyright Joy Damiani/Emily Yates, 2012

Featuring the Voices of Assent:
-Rachel Colwell (Violin, vocals tracks 1, 6, 8)
-Dave Fleishman (Vocals tracks 1, 6, 8)
-Rose Guthrie (Vocals tracks 1, 3, 6-10)
-Carolyn Lang (Vocals tracks 1, 6, 8)
-Charlie Wilson (Trombone, percussion, vocals tracks 1, 3, 6)
-E. Yates (5-string banjo, accordion, alto sax, Dobro, upright bass, shaker track 6, vocals tracks 1, 2, 3, 6)